If you’re wondering why people bring a Lenor Bottle to Glastonbury, you’re about to find out. Prepare yourselves, because it ain’t pretty.
2022 was my friend Sian’s first Glastonbury. We got tickets in 2019 and waited 3 years for this.
It was not my first Glastonbury, it was my 6th, so I was pretty familiar with the festival.
We were in the queue when Sian turned to me and asked “why does every 3rd person have an empty fabric softener bottle attached to the outside of their backpacks?”
I knew the answer straight away. It was one of those “if you know, you know” moments.
The answer is p*ss.
Lenor bottles at Glastonbury Festival are for p***ing in.
I told you it wasn’t pretty.
You see, at Glastonbury Festival, the toilets can be considerably far away from your tent.
This is super annoying when it’s 4am, you’re cosy in your tent and nature calls.
Nature always does call at 4am, because why wouldn’t it?
Assuming you’re not out in Block 9 or Arcadia at 4am (some people actually do sleep at night you know!) then the walk to the toilets and back is daunting.
It could mean a 15-20 minute round trip to the long drops when you factor in walking there, stepping over a few dozen guy ropes and find your way back.
The more convenient and easy option is to relieve yourself at your tent… but you can’t just openly piss on the ground.
That’s horrible for the environment, plus everyone would be wading through piss if 200,000 people did that.
So, the fabric softener bottle is a vessel. A vessel for piss.
Why A Lenor Bottle?
It’s to do with the wide neck of the bottle.
Most bottles of fizzy drinks or water have a very thin bottleneck, which just won’t do!
Trying to piss in one of those would be messy and splashy inside a tent!
The lenor bottle is wide enough to avoid splashes AND it won’t be mistaken for a drinking bottle (oh my god, just imagine)
Is this for women too?
Yes, it’s not just blokes pissing in bottles of fabric conditioner in a field.
Except women need a little bit of help with ‘aiming’.
Women need to use a she-pee or funnel to make sure they don’t miss the bottle!
What about emptying the bottle?
That part isn’t hard. You carry said bottle to the long drop and pour the contents down the following day.
You certainly don’t want it warming up inside your tent all day… those lids aren’t leakproof either, so yeah.
See also: Festival toilet survival guide!
So, that’s the reason why people bring a Lenor bottle to Glastonbury. It’s for late night toilet trips.
Hopefully you’re not too grossed out.