Who Are The Churnups on Glastonbury’s Lineup?

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The Churnups Glastonbury

Update, June 2023: It was the Foo Fighters.

Festival fans are speculating on the identity of an unknown band referred to as “The Churnups” on the 2023 Glastonbury Festival line up. But who could it really be?!

The emerald fields of Worthy Farm are once again set to throb with the energy of tens of thousands of music lovers. With a calendar that’s more eagerly anticipated than Christmas, Glastonbury 2023’s full lineup was finally announced on Tuesday, 30th May.

Ever diverse and occasionally perplexing, this year’s lineup is a tantalising mix of old and new, established and emerging, predictable and downright bewildering. Amidst the cascading names of world-renowned artists, one stands out like a rogue chord in a symphony – “The Churnups”.

Raising more eyebrows than the sound of Kanye West’s rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody, The Churnups is the most obscure of bands; a quick search on Spotify, Apple Music, or even a deep dive into the murky depths of Soundcloud, yields no results.

Fans have been left to furrow brows and wag chins in a frenzied speculation as to the true identity of this mysterious act.

However, a trail of breadcrumbs, possibly leading us closer to the truth, has begun to surface on social media.

Who Are The Churnups?

The journey from confusion to curiosity has led some sharp-eyed and perhaps slightly obsessed fans to connect The Churnups with none other than the legendary Britpop band – Pulp.

Are “The Churnups” Actually Pulp in disguise?

Jarvis Cocker and his band of misfits have long been a staple of British music history, iconic in their flamboyant narratives and always ready to offer a slice of Sheffield to the rest of the world. Their musical hiatus has been felt keenly by those who still hum “Common People” in the shower or air-drum to “Disco 2000” when the mood takes them. So, could it be possible? Is Pulp really gearing up to tread the boards of Glastonbury once more under the intriguing moniker of The Churnups?

Pulp’s social media pages have been teasingly cryptic of late.

See also: Best of Glastonbury Nightlife – After Hours

Adding to this whirlwind of speculation is the infamous Glastonbury rumour mill. Anonymous sources, shadowy whispers, and enigmatic tip-offs have suggested Pulp are definitely making an appearance at the iconic festival.

Could this all be just a clever ruse, or is there a kernel of truth hidden within the folds of this mystery?

Nick Banks, the drummer from Pulp has denied any knowledge of “The Churnups”

Here’s some clarifications 

The Wednesday of which I speak is Sheffield Wednesday FC. League 1 play-off winners. 

Though it’s very tempting to tease you lot again. I know nothing of the ‘Churnups’ band. Ok?

Over and out. (For now)

Nick Banks - Pulp

Are “The Churnups” Actually Foo Fighters Hiding in Plain Sight?

Amidst the Pulp rumours, the Foo Fighters rumour mill has also been ‘churning’ throughout the day!

A suspicious Twitter account @TheChurnups has suddenly appeared, riddled with Foo Fighters references and clues, but who knows?

The Churnups on Twitter
Anyone trying to fool Glasto-goers could have created this account 😉

The Glastonbury gates will swing open on June 21st.

All we can do until then is speculate, imagine, and prepare for the party of our lives. As the riddles unfold, we can only hope that our yearning for a Pulp or Foo Fighters comeback will be satisfied. Until then, keep your eyes on the stars and your ears to the ground because at Glastonbury, anything can happen.

Glastonbury’s Secret Sets: A Festival Tradition Wrapped in Mystery and Music

Of course, the enigma of The Churnups is not the first time Glastonbury has wrapped its music in a shroud of secrecy. The hallowed festival is well-known for its surprise, last-minute performances. These ‘secret sets’ have become an enduring tradition, a festival within a festival that adds another layer of anticipation and unpredictability to the already mesmerising event.

One cannot mention Glastonbury’s secret sets without harking back to the electrifying surprise appearance by Radiohead in 2011. Thom Yorke and Johnny Greenwood casually took to The Park Stage, sending shockwaves of excitement rippling through the unsuspecting crowd. As the first notes rang out, the gathered throng quickly swelled, and a legend was born.

The essence of these secret sets lies in their unexpected nature. From intimate acoustic sessions in tucked-away tents to surprise superstar appearances on the smaller stages, these performances imbue Glastonbury with a sense of magic and spontaneity. It’s in these unplanned moments, nestled amongst the high-profile headliners and the sprawling line-up, that some of the festival’s most treasured memories are born.

So, whether The Churnups turn out to be Pulp, or another act hiding behind the guise, one thing remains certain. Glastonbury’s legacy of unpredictability and surprise continues to keep us on our toes.

The truth about The Churnups will undoubtedly be another thrilling chapter in the annals of the festival’s storied secret sets. All we can do now is wait, and let the magic of Glastonbury unravel itself once again.

For those who may not know, Glastonbury Festival is one of the biggest and most iconic music festivals in the world, taking place annually in the UK. This five-day extravaganza is like a magical kingdom, where the music never stops and the good vibes flow 24/7. The line-up is always a who’s who of the music industry, with past headliners including the likes of Beyoncé, Adele, Paul McCartney and Ed Sheeran.

But Glastonbury isn’t just about the music. It’s an immersive experience that’s hard to put into words. Imagine wandering through the lush fields, taking in the colourful and eclectic art installations, and getting lost in the diverse array of food and craft stalls. It’s like stepping into an entirely different world, where anything is possible.

One of the things that makes Glastonbury so special is the sense of community. The festivalgoers are a diverse group of people from all walks of life, but for five days, we’re all one big family. The vibe is so positive and inclusive, it’s impossible not to feel uplifted and connected to everyone around you.

See you on the farm!

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